Around my 30th birthday, I lay in bed just about to drift off to sleep when my heart started racing. I tried a few deep breaths but I was still gasping for air. One hour later I was on a hospital bed with leads attached to my chest ensuring my heart was ok.
Thankfully my heart was fine and fingers crossed it still is.
That same night I was introduced to a gentleman who asked some very good questions about my life and the stressors within it. My diagnosis? Yup, a panic attack.
They were quick to offer me drugs, I declined.
And so began my bumpy yet beautiful journey of personal discovery.
I look at that panic attack as one of the best things that ever happened to me because for 30 years of my life I was wandering around half asleep.
I was breathing but not connected to my breath, I was physically fit but I was filling my body with junk, I never talked about my emotions, I ignored how tired I felt after a bad nights sleep, I simply drank more coffee to get me through the day and I had bad habits that were hidden out of plain sight and they were dragging me down. I simply wasn’t paying attention to the things that were filling my soul or draining it.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I’m genuinely not sure what would have happened to me if I’d not found meditation. I’ve built my life with this practices as the foundation. Whenever I feel like life is just perfect I’ve usually hit a good cadence of mediation and whenever I feel out of sorts and not the best version of myself I’ve usually fallen out of a good meditation rhythm.
I’ve dabbled with all sorts of teachers and apps over the years but the two that really worked for me are Sam Harris and Jon Kabat-Zinns masterclass. I’m convinced they are the most gifted teachers of our time.
I always found creating the consistent practice the hardest part, especially after having a kid, but following both Sam and Jon made it easier for me to make it a regular part of my life.
I hope they work for you.
Ross